February 2012
24 posts
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Strange Dream
So it starts off with me drinking at Jarryds house with people who were there. I’m getting pretty drunk and the night is pretty much coming to an end because everyone is falling asleep (even in my dreams those guys knock out). I hit up Ximena to see if people are still at her house hanging out. She says yeah and to come through, she told me that some of her Englewood buddies are there and...
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Headphones
Mom: Here Junior, listen to this music.
Junior: I LIKE THIS SONG MAMI!
Me: Junior, you don't have to yell. We are right in front of you.
Junior: WHAT?!?!?!
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Siri
Humans are the weirdest creatures ever. They fall in love with inanimate objects, they marry things like pillows, have sex with fruits or veggies, molest children, and eat disgusting things. I am here to speak about who has fallen in love with Siri from the iPhone. I haven’t heard of anyone who has fallen in love with it…yet. I know there is some mentally disturbed person who had...
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Angela's Weird
Angela: Let me smell your mouth.
Mom: It smells good Angela.
Angela: Okay, let me smell your feet.
*laughter ensued*
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Female Comedies
I was watching are you there Chelsea tonight because I always give new shows a chance before finding out that they are trash. For just about every show you have an idea of how the show is based off one episode. I’ll start off with the one every woman knows and loves. Actually never mind, I honestly don’t know if that show is a comedy or drama so I won’t bash it…yet. The...
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Too Literal
Mom: ¿Adonde vas con ese plato?
Me: Voy a comer en la sala.
Mom: No, tu vas a comer aquí. Siéntate en la mesa.
Me: *Sits on table*
Mom: Te voy a pegar. Stop being a smartass. *Throws lime*
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Big Butt
Albert: Did you know that anal sex makes the ass fatter?
Me: I thought it was just hitting it from the back. You know doggy style.
Albert: Nah you gotta put it in her ass.
Me: Well you know what I'm gonna tell my girlfriend to do then. I'm going to tell her to buy a strap on and fuck my ass mad hard. I'll have a fat ass in no time.
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Cellphones
It’s pretty damn amazing how cellphones have made everything that used to be electronically handheld go obsolete. Flashlights, calculators, handheld gaming, travel size DVD players, and even remote controllers. If you have anything in your hand that has batteries in it, chances are that a phone can do it and if not, there is an app for it in the making. It’s just crazy how much...
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Boogers
Mom: ¿Tocastes mi tortilla?
Me: me toque la nariz y después su tortilla.
Mom: ¡Cochino!
Me: Mis mocos le va dar sabor a su tortilla, watch.
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The Crew
If you know me personally, like if we have met or spoken on the phone or just hung out in general, then it probably means that you know my friends. As individuals we are disliked by plenty but together we are loved by many. I honestly can’t even begin to say how many people have wanted to hang out with us for all the foolish and comedic things we never stop saying. We were just fun to have...
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Triplicate
Everyday is a good day to be on tumblr, especially on Tuesdays. Today is Valentines which makes it three times as good. Let’s see them heart shaped nipples…ladies.
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